From our birth, and throughout our lives, people are reason for hope and expectation for those around us. We are a continuing promise. When we are born, our parents are hopeful that we will be obedient and loving children, students applied, exemplary professionals and citizens, and finally, a staff for their old age, in short, children who feel proud. Our brothers are confident that we will be playmates, accessories, fraternal strongholds. As we grow, our friends expect us loyalty, mutual help and friendship. Our colleagues are confident that our partnership can have diligently. Our partner expects love, support mutual loyalty, understanding. Our children wait eagerly for us to gather honey, balanced education, selfless dedication, protection. And so in all areas of human relations.
However, as we grow and live, we will disappoint those hopes, disappointed expectations and unfulfilled promises we made implicitly by the mere existence. This disappointment brought forth as we pass has a positive and a negative side, like most things in life. The negative side is the discomfort we feel for the failure to live up to what they expected and others expect of us. The upside is that, after all, since disappoint is inherent to the process of living, if disappointed is because we are living, because we are still alive.
I at least I've reached middle age (which could be described as green mature or mature youth) at this point in my life I've had time and opportunity to be disappointed because my parents (to them the first), my brothers, my friends, my old girlfriends, my wife (especially her), my children (especially them), my colleagues and my students, and now as author of this Blog , guess my readers also , word, act or omission.
Consider a particular case: disappointment mutually inflicted a couple members. When they meet, everything is expectation of happiness. But the passage of time and coexistence (the co-existence : life-in-common, the act-of-living-together) make to surface defects of character and attitude that were previously kept hidden or concealed . Then erode expectations and hopes were encouraged in the beginning. And each of the partners begins to disappoint the other (or seen the opposite: everyone starts to feel disappointed by the other party.) If the disappointment is critical, then there are two options: either the conformity and adaptation, or rupture. In the background, always a break is because we that our partner has disappointed the hopes we had landed.
curious but understandably human beings are much more likely to acknowledge the disappointment caused by the self-other than to recognize the disappointment he caused in others. In the case of rupture of a couple, each of the members tend to remember much disappointment that the disappointment suffered. But here adduce literary examples of both. The Latin poet Catullus decides to end his relationship with his beloved Lesbia (poem 76). This is a poem that we include in the genre of renuntiatio amoris (renunciation of love, breakup). However, Catulo considera que su actitud ha sido impecable hacia Lesbia en todos los sentidos, y que ha sido ella la que, por deslealtad, ha defraudado las expectativas que él tenía sobre ella:
Si qua recordanti benefacta priora voluptasIn contrast, we document the opposite view (which is much rarer) in a modern poem Felipe Benítez Reyes : here, the lyrical subject argues that when a breakup occurs, one must reflect on the disappointment caused in your family. This disappointment has been the cause of the breakdown or abandonment: WARNING
est homini, cum se cogitat esse pium
nec sanctam violasse fidem, nec foedere nullo
divum ad fallendos numine abusum homines:
multa parata manent in longa aetate, Catulle,
ex hoc ingrato gaudia amore tibi.
nam quaecumque homines bene cuiquam aut dicere possunt
aut facere, haec a te dictaque factaque sunt:
omnia quae ingratae perierunt credita menti.
quare cur te iam amplius excrucies?
quin tu animo offirmas atque istinc teque reducis,
et dis invitis desinis esse miser?
difficilest longum subito deponere amorem,
difficilest, verum hoc, qua lubet, efficias:
una salus haec est, hoc est tibi pervincendum,
hoc facias, sive id non pote sive pote. -
o di, si vestrumst misereri, aut si quibus umquam
extremo, iam ipsa in morte, tulistis opem,
me miserum aspicite et, si vitam puriter egi,
eripite hanc pestem perniciemque mihi!
hei mihi, subrepens imos ut torpor in artus
expulit ex omni pectore laetitias.
non iam illud quaero, contra me ut diligat illa,
aut, quod non potis est, esse pudica velit:
ipse valere opto et taetrum hunc deponere morbum.
o di, reddite mi hoc Pietat pro mea!
If a man gets any pleasure to remember his good
shares when recalls that has been loyal,
has not violated the sacred loyalty or abused in any agreement
the sanctity of the gods to defraud people,
many pleasures await you, Catullus, for a long life,
a result of this love that has not reciprocated.
As far as men can do or say good
all that is said and done for you.
all of which fell on deaf ears, a heart committed unfair:
therefore why are you going to haunt you again, why not get paid
forces and come back on you,
and stop being miserable, against the will of the gods?
arduous task is to depose of a sudden a long love
hard, but do it at all costs:
that is the only salvation, it must overcome,
that you do, whether it is possible or not.
Oh, gods, if you own compassion, if ever some
offer help and in the same death,
contempladme to me, unhappy, and if I lived honestly,
arrancadme this disease and the destruction,
that infiltrate as a paralysis in my marrow,
booted me around the chest joie de vivre!
and do not mean this, that my part in love,
or, what is impossible, who wants to be honest.
I want to reset and heal from this painful disease:
oh, gods, devolvedme this in exchange for my loyalty.
If you ever suffer, and you will,
by someone who loved you and that leaves you,
not hold grudges or forgive him: distorts their memory
the spiteful
forgiveness and love is just a word that does not conform
never a feeling. Supports
your pain alone, because the merit
adversity even more justified if you were
unfair to your conscience, not betting
only love I gave you
innocent splendor, its untouched worlds.
So when you will suffer-and-
by someone who loved you, always tries to accuse yourself
its
forgotten because you were a coward or maybe you were ungrateful.
and learns that life has a price you can not afford
continuously.
And learn your dignity in defeat, thanking
who loved you fleeting gift of her beauty.
(From the book worlds Openings , 1985)
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